Meditating is extremely difficult and extremely simple at the same time. To me, all that meditation means is doing nothing. Or asĚýclose to nothing as possible for as long as you can. That’s it. Everything else that happens while you’re meditating is PART of meditating. There is no doing it wrong, there is no end goal. It is uncomfortable, as if every second is one mental bicep curl and you’re exhausted 15 reps in. You will get stronger, but most of the time it will feel like work because just like any practice or discipline, it is ·É´Ç°ů°ě.Ěý

What this work looks like in practice can include: Finding quiet. Sitting down. Closing your eyes. Taking deep breaths over and over. Saying a mantra over and over. Being mindful of your presence in your surroundings. Feeling sensations in the body. Listening to guidance. Movement and posing and stretching.

All of that is right, and it’s what we commonly hear as being meditation. What I have found in my own practice is that you can meditate with your eyes open, while doing things, while there is noise and distraction, for very short spurts at a time, in an extremely chaotic way, and it’ll still work.

I believeĚýconnecting with your breath in the shower for thirty seconds can leave you as calm and collected and happy as deep two-hour sessions. And I believe that if all of us could do any version of this, our entire lives would be better.Ěý

Here are some facts about meditating to get you going:Ěý

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For me,Ěýthere was a period of time where I wanted to meditate but just couldn’t get myself to do it even though for years I had made myself do yoga while hating it the whole time. What finally got me meditatingĚýwas that I reached a point where I didn't just want to meditate,ĚýI needed to. I felt like I was quite literally losing my mind and was horrified of what that meant. I studied Transcendental Meditation and Reiki and now I meditate every single day--sometimes for minutes and sometimes for hours. And I have found that all that matters is that you do it. That’s it.Ěý

Here are the steps to make it easiest to start:

1. Get comfortable. It’s okay if that means locked in your bathroom on the toilet, or in the car in the grocery store parking lot, or laying in bed because it’s midnight and you just remembered. All of those count.Ěý
2. If you can, close your eyes. If not, don’t. Again, it’s fine if you fall asleep. If you cry, cry. Laugh. Flip out.Ěý
3. Just stay, however long you can. Try one minute.Ěý
4. Repeat whenever you're able to.Ěý
5. To watch your progress, which can be helpful motivation, set a stopwatch or a timer.

It is painful and difficult and yes it may make you anxious at first. It’s very common to get frustrated because you feel like you cannot quiet your mind or your body. It can feel physically impossible to sit still. Sometimes, even if lying down, you’ll feel physical pain from holding still. It’s bananas. (Sad spoiler alert: these “symptoms” never go away. Well maybe for monks they do, but for me they appear whenever they feel like it, regularly.)

Breathing will help the physical symptoms. Mantras help the mental ones. But the point is, for every minute you are doing it, it’s working. Take deep, slow breaths and focus on nothing else for one minute, that’s probably more than you’ve breathed in a while. Spend 20 minutes straight mentally screaming at your second grade bully for something you really could have sworn you were over, you’re healing. Let your children, pets, partners, roommates, or family interrupt you over and over, you’re learning patience. Use it to fall asleep and nothing else, you’ll get better sleep. It’s all working.ĚýĚý

And in my experience, the best part of “it’s working” besides that amazing list above is that very, very slowly, you learn to watch your mind. Observe it. ActuallyĚýlisten to it and learn to noticeĚýits patterns. You hear how silly it can be.ĚýGive it time to freak out and then give it time to calm down. And when you do that over and over and over, even in little bits, you learn to accept the waves of your thoughts and emotions as just that—waves that come and go and vary in intensity. You start to see those waves everywhere, and then you learn to accept those too.Ěý

So seriously. If you’re like me and are even a little bit worried about holding it together while everything feels like it’s unraveling—I promise this will help tremendously. Set a stopwatch. See how it goes. We’re lucky if we even have a minute to set aside for this, and how heartbreaking that this is the world we live in. Remind yourself that resting your mind is a luxury that you should take for yourself, even one minute at a time.Ěý

Read more about meditation:Ěý

Inevitably it alters the rest of my day, causing a little peach pit of anxiety to form in the middle of my chest that I end up taking with me into everything else I do. So, in an effort to mindfully chip away at my phone addiction, I’ve been taking advantage of some of the features Apple includes with the iPhone to help with this exact problem. (Which of course is a little like if RJ ReynoldsĚýincludedĚýnicotine patches with every pack of Camels, but I digress.)

Here are a couple ways you can use your iPhone to combat your iPhone addiction: InĚýSettings > Screen Time, you’ll find a couple great features for curbing your phone addiction: App Limits and Downtime. (For you Android users,Ěý.)

App Limits does exactly what it says: It lets you select certain apps or categories of apps and set your own limits on them. If I’m playing too much Candy Crush, for instance, I can set it so that I’m only allowed 30 minutes of Candy Crush a day.

Downtime is basically App Limits in reverse. It disables apps on your phone for a certain, scheduled period of time. The nice thing about Downtime is that you can decide which apps are never blocked. For instance, text messages and phone calls can still get through while Downtime is scheduled.

What’s been working for me is to set my Downtime so that only texts, phone calls, podcasts, and my run-tracking app are allowed during morning hours that I would normally spend swiping through the nightmare news of the day. Now, instead, I get up, maybe find a podcast that I want to listen to, and go for a morning run. It’s been amazing. I have more energy and a lot more patience for the things that come up during the day.

Which isn’t to say that my doomscrolling addiction is all fixed. I’ve got a long way to go. I still expect marauding hordes of white nationalist cannibal zombies to begin rampaging at any second, but at least, if they do, I’ve managed to squeeze in a bit of exercise first!

1. Practice Yoga

When my kids were really little, the transition to bedtime was a 3-ring circus every night. Getting them to take a moment to calm down and relax was always a challenge, so after snacks and changing into PJs, we would take 10 minutes to read . This colorful book walks you through several easy yoga poses and meditations, in a way that helps kids stretch out some excess energy and prepare for sleep. My daughter was always excited to practice her tree pose!

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2. Go for a Walk

In the summer, my kids love to go for walksĚýin the park. This is a great opportunity to teach kids about mindfulness, being conscious of the world around them. On the way we’ll talk about the trees and flowers we see or count the rabbits on all the front lawns in the neighborhood. We listen for new bird calls and watch for the signs of changing seasons. A simple walk around the neighborhood canĚýhelp kids learn the joys ofĚýbeingĚýpresent.

3. Read a Book

Sometimes self-care is as simple as taking a few minutes for yourself to read a book you love. was a favorite in our house. With beautiful illustrations and an adorable story about Gerald the Giraffe who just wants to dance, it’s a great opportunity to have a conversation with your children about embracing what makes you happy, no matter what the world tells you.

4. DIY Spa Day

Once a month, my daughter and I have DIY spa day. We get out our foot baths and mix up a mud mask. We love using the French Green Clay Mask, and she loves to add a little bit of honey, because it smells soooo good! It’s a great opportunity for us to get to spend some down time together, and practice taking moments in life to care for ourselves.

5. Share a Movie Night

Friday nights in our house are movie night, and my kidsĚýlook forward to picking out something to watch every week. One favorite is Pixar’s Inside Out. With beautiful animation and music, and a fantastic lesson about allowing yourself to feel your feelings, it’s a great opportunity to talk with kids about how they feel, and what they do when they feel upset, angry, or sad. It’s important to learn at a young age how to express emotions in healthy ways, and don’t forget the popcorn!

6. Listen to Music Together

One thing that I have really tried to share with my children is my love of music, and how it can make you feel. We are constantly sharing new music with each other. It’s a great opportunity to open up conversations about the stories told, and the emotions felt. My kids love sharing their music discoveries with me and finding common ground in the music I listen to. Try building a shared playlist with your kids. Include music they learn in school, songs you loved growing up, and fun new musicĚýthat you can allĚýdance to together!

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These may seem like little things, but these practices can help your children develop healthy habits for the future. It will help them become more independent and understand how to take care of themselves to be healthy and happy in the future!

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A “dopamine fast” isĚýa fancy way thatĚýSilicon Valley + are trying to brand the idea of taking a break from everything that makes your brain release dopamine (which essentially makes you happy) in order to break your addiction to said dopamine. In other words, we’re actually just all grumpy because we’re too happy, and we need to take breaks from being happy to remember that we’re happy. Love it. Sooooo super privileged but aren’t all self-help things? I am also in the privileged position of having , so I decided to do this creepy sounding fast asap.

(And we are all in the unprivileged position of being stuck indoors, which means it's the perfect time to teach yourself how to be naturally happier!)

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How to Do A Dopamine FastĚý

AĚýdopamine fastĚýis typically described asĚýno eating, no screens, no music, no exercise, no touch or sex, no work, no eye contact, and no talking more than is absolutely necessary. But the idea is that you’re cutting out as much of what stimulates you as possible; in a full dopamine fast you would be floating in space or something.Ěý

Here is what I did (lol “did” is an overstatement already). I let my phone die around 4 pm Saturday, the day before the fast. This immediately set in motion the mild panic attack that would stay with me the remainder of the weekend. I listened to so much music and got so high as if both would be never again available to me. I worked on my computer until it died and then the panic attack got more intense. I plugged the computer back in and started binge watching to ensure not one minute of restful sleep.Ěý

Then came Sunday, the day of the fast (lol again to the idea of a whole “day” of this). I woke up and meditated without a timer, which made me competitive with myself to get the timing right but then also paranoid I wasn’t getting the timing right. Surprisingly I survived this, but don’t be fooled—it wasn’t easy. I went out and got a coffee because I thought I was dying, and this is totally breaking the rules. No eye contact and lots of awkward laughter. We got back to the house and I built a fire for what felt like 17 hours but turned out to be less than an hour. I stared into the fire for another 12 hours (30 minutes). I plugged my phone in because Elana needed some photos taken but kept it on airplane mode with no wifi okay?! Jk I saw my sister texted me and I immediately facetimed her to panic about my fast, which I was already excelling at and it wasn’t even noon yet!Ěý

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Okay but then I shut my phone for real and spent the next few hours rotating between staring at the fire, walking around, writing notes in a journal (all work or to-do related), getting high, and eating. Elana and I also walked through THANK GOD. But I smoked so so much you guys. Way more than normal. That’s how hard I was trying to cope with just doing nothing, while doing plenty!! And I had to eat because enough torture okay?

ByĚý8 pmĚýI was back to Surviving R. Kelly, aka more rule-breaking.Ěý

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Why You Should Do a Dopamine FastĚý

Wow. I nailed it right? I would give myself like a 45%, a fat F. Still worth it? SO WORTH IT. Cannot even tell you. Cannot wait to do it again. I felt so much peace by the end of the day. I felt so excited to try it again soon, hopefully with more success. And on Monday--the absolute worst day of the week why does it even exist—I was incredibly productive and incredibly grateful for everything.

Do you know how amazing music is?? And your phone? And computers? Omg.Ěý

DO IT. You will do such a better job than I did, and it will be so worth it. Try to keep these tips in mind, I think they helped me!Ěý

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Tips for your detox:

• I was lucky to be staying in a really sweet pad for the weekend and it really helped. Make sure youĚýmake your space feel peaceful and comfortable, if you’re anything like me you will be desperate for both the entire time.Ěý
• Hide your screens. Seriously. I eventually had to give my phone to Elana and tell her not to let me have it. Let them die and have someone take your charger. Whatever it takes just get them far away from you.
• If you’re already a pro at controlling your screen time, find whatever else you reach for the most and take it away. Like weed or booze or food. You know what it is.
• Do the best you can. As you saw, I probably only covered half of what a real detox entails. I don’t understand these Silicon Valley robot humans but today I appreciate them too!Ěý

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I know it's a hard time to do anything extra. But I bet if you shut your phone or computer for a few hours you’d likeĚýeverything more. And that’s what we’re really after amirite?Ěý

Whatever it takes to stay happy right now,Ěý

Adina <3

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Being alone can be so scary--I did it for a whole month. Here are some things that helped me stay motivated and pass the time.Ěý

Being Alone

This past November, I traveled from California to upstate New York for an artist residency. I was scheduled to live in the woods in a big house alone for an entire month. It was terrifying. For theĚýpast couple of years, I had found myself deeply afraid of being by myself. I turned to my friends or my boyfriend to ensure that my evenings were filled withĚýsomething. I always made plans to avoid being alone, though many evenings I was irritable and exhausted and should have stayed in. I even thought I might be dating someone to ward off loneliness. That’s not the kind of person I want to be. I want to be able sit with myself. I want to be able to love myself enough to be alone. The time alone was honestly a way to test myself.Ěý

Now we're all about to be tested over our ability to spend time alone.ĚýThese tips are especially with people who areĚýsingle and alone in their homes, my guess is if you're in a house full of family you'll be looking for tips on how to get some time to yourself--which you should do!Ěý

Before being alone: set rules

Before the residency started, I promised myself a few things: I wouldn’t use social media while working (so as not to distract myself in the middle of a thought), I would not drink unless I had a visitor, and I would wait one hour before calling someone if I felt lonely. The first night was definitely a challenge. The darkness of the woods was overwhelming, and I wasn’t yet accustomed to the house and its noises and quirks. However, when I woke up the next morning to the beauty that is fall in the Hudson Valley, the stress eased. I only felt excited and determined.

Over the next week, I could feel all my anxiety about my relationship, friendships, career, money, and the future slip away. The following week, I felt completely at peace. It wasn’t a struggle to be alone. I loved it.Ěý

If you are about to spend some time alone, set some guidelines for yourself. Look at it as a challenge for ways to improve your life. Where can you challenge yourself to take a break? What's something you can work on because you have more time? Can you set chunks of time where you really embrace being alone? Can you reward yourself somehow when you do?Ěý

Then, be patient. It gets easier over time.Ěý

Tips for Being Alone

Here are some things I did to keep myself company:

• Set goals. First of all, I had a goal. I was there to make art, so I was motivated to wake up each day.
• Cook. When I wasn’t working, I cooked, which I find relaxing and fun and a productive way to take a break.
• Listen. The radio, music or a podcast played at all times. These stories and voices kept me company.
• Watch and read all the things. I watched stupid shows while I ate dinner, but I watched quality movies or read a book before bed.
• Sleep! I went to bed early.
• Find new habits. On my month alone, I drove several miles each morning to my favorite bakery and splurged on pastries, which I never do in Los Angeles. If you can't do something like that right now, try a walk, or a long coffee-making ritual. What's something that's completely outside of your normal routine? What can you slow down that you normally rush through?
• Make a schedule. This helps to fill your time. Because I had things to do, I felt healthier than I’ve been in a while. I didn’t look at my body the entire time. I had the same schedule every day. I never got bored. I told my friends I didn’t want to hear about drama back in Los Angeles. We didn’t text every day. I checked in and was present on social media, but I didn’t feel addicted to it. Instagram seemed boring and irrelevant for the most part. I didn’t miss anyone.

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Time Alone is a Gift

UsuallyĚýit’s impossible for people with families or regular jobs to take a month out of their normal life, and while at the moment it's mostly not welcome, we can also think of the challenge as a gift. WeĚýare all capable of making changes, figuring out how we feel our best, and adapting to our environment (this is both a good and bad quality). I’m back in Los Angeles now, and it’s stressful. I don’t feel at peace anymore. Real life is full of unexpected events that are annoying and distracting. I haven’t completely changed my life here in LA, but the shifts IĚýmade have stuck with me.ĚýIĚýkeep a more consistent schedule. I keep my podcasts on at home when I’m alone.Ěý Most importantly though, because of my experience, I know I can be alone, and I like to be alone. This feeling is empowering, and it can’t be taken away.

Ěý-EB